People in modern America get loaded for exactly the same reasons the desperate poor drank gin in Dickens’ London. But, at least the Dickensian wretches never faced arrest for drowning their sorrows. Today, the greatest danger from drugs may be persecution by the police.

Last week, four more members of the Galloping Goose Motorcycle Club and the El Forastero Motorcycle Club pleaded guilty to charges of distributing methamphetamine. The latest plea deals mean a total of nine members of the two clubs have confessed to being drug dealers even though they never actually dealt drugs. The nine men have confessed to sharing drugs.

The Clubs

Both the Galloping Goose and El Forastero are small, well established and respectfully regarded clubs in Kansas and Missouri. The Galloping Goose was founded in 1949 and El Forastero was founded in 1962. The Galloping Goose also has chapters in Montana, Louisiana and Los Angeles. The club was informally organized in 1942 and its patch dates to that year. The two clubs share a club house in Kansas City.

If you live on the coasts, you may never have heard of El Forastero. El Forastero is a very exclusive club which did not patch in a single new member from 1980 until 2000. The brother patched in 2000 was named Monk and five years later he told a reporter in Kansas City something that deserves to be repeated.

“The man makes the patch. The patch don’t make the man,” Monk said. “If you’re a bitch and you put a fucking patch on, you’re still a bitch. If you’re a man, whether you’ve got the patch, you’re still the man. There are people who would make a Forastero, and then there are people who wouldn’t make an ingrown hair on a Forastero’s ball sac. You know what I’m saying? That’s just the quality of people.”

All club politics aside, Monk’s proud and defiant words suggest why the Federal government so blindly hates motorcycle clubs. The government would belittle and control free men. All in the name of protecting us.

The Case

Eleven members of the two clubs were charged with “conspiracy to distribute 500 grams or more of methamphetamine” as well as unspecified amounts of “cocaine and marijuana” in a federal indictment returned on June 19th, 2007. The case was investigated by the Independence, Missouri Police department and prosecuted by Assistant U.S. Attorney Jeffrey Valenti.

The case was built on casual drug consumption during club runs. El Forastero and the Galloping Goose have four, joint mandatory runs each year. Expenses for the runs are paid with money collected as club dues.

The drug conspiracy case was based on the official allegation that club money was used to purchase recreational amounts of methamphetamine, cocaine and marijuana before each of these runs. The prosecution alleged that the two clubs bought, transported and shared an average of one ounce, or 28 grams, of crank on each run. Over five years, the total amount of methamphetamine the “co-conspirators” “distributed” would have amounted to 560 grams, which exceeds the threshold for a major drug case by 60 grams.

America Has Been Saved

The men who have pled guilty are William “Muff” Eneff, 59; Michael “Holms” Fitzwater, 60; Donald “Kooly” Culey, 41; Robert “Goose Rob” Mays, 54; Steven “Goose Steve” Street, 42; Robert Peters, 52; Gary “New Yorker” Mickiewicz, 59; Michael “Joe Poke” Hensley, 43; and Donald “Donnie” Street, 36.

Under the terms of the plea agreements the defendants all face five or more years in prison.

So, now we are all safer. So, now America is a little more perfected. The mavericks have been beaten and belittled again.